In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
True strength comes from lack of pants
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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