Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
