I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
