Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
