I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
