Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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