Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
