Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
