pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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