No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
