I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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