These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
