My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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