Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
3 2 1 whiskey
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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