she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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