Only a mothe r could love this liver
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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