it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
babies were throwing up all over the place
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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