I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
