I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize