Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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