I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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