absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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