If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
