THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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