You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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