It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
