Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize