i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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