Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
