Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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