...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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