So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize