I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
