I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
