I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
