I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
