They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
two words...techno handjob
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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