So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
