@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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