I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
