Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
