Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
