oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
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