Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i think i scared a bird with my dick
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The struggles of a small town man whore
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
