I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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