why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
