Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize