I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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