No awkward lesbian experiences without me
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
