he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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