Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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