Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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