PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Can't talk, ducks in the car
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
