a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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