Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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