Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(615): View more from Tennessee

my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole

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(425): View more from Washington

he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.

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(631): View more from New York

After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch

(1-631): View more from New York

that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her

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(647): View more from Ontario

if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.

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(303): View more from Colorado

you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you

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(316): View more from Kansas

Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.

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(816): View more from Missouri

He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.

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(212): View more from New York

If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up

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