well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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