**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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