I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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