no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
