Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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