Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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