Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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