So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
it's like heaven, but drunker
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Randomize
